young and in love

just one thought is all it takes
one thing to remind me
of things
so many years ago now

it forms like smoke curling
and through my memory
comes your face
your faded blue shirt

unbuttoned
open
like your smile



.

May 19, 2020

Gone forever,
The days where my time had no end in sight.
Even five years ago I believed in time.
Time to get something right.

Sick

Where

Do we go

Do I go

Anywhere

Can we meet

You and I 

What to wear

My own mask

Don’t touch 

Don’t breathe

Go away

Somewhere else

It’s sick

October 2019 . at 64

October is half gone and the rain is camping-out 

for a few days.  Low grey clouds, wet land and 

chilly wind. I am here until mid-November.

Still on my to-do list is: to put a new cover over the 

water pump outdoors, and have a new water heater 

installed. 

The last year has been painting and hauling and re-doing.

My body seems to be needing the same kind of attention. 

Some I don't think will happen any time soon. 

Now where did I put the number for the dentist?

July

The calendar year is more than half over.
Days slip into nights in the July of Oregon.
Working some on the house and the land.
Working through. Working at.
I don't know why I call it work.
It's just doing the thing of moving.
Finding my sense of humor when it
gets misplaced, as well as my eye glasses.
I look old, I sound old, I feel old...
but, I'm not. I never grew up.
In fact, I am still ten and a half.
But some adult in my mind, I don't know
where she comes from, keeps telling me
to do stupid things, like plant flowers in
the yard. It's tough to ignore, I tell ya.

I have two houses

January 29, 2019

I have a house in Oregon
And a new house with mortgage payments, in Illinois.

I found the little house in Illinois after the summer in Oregon.

So now, I spend time in both places.

The Illinois house is slowly being filled with things that I want to use. Such as dishes and cookware. I have one chair and a bed. and some little side tables. And two lamps.

I have not seen as many people as I have hoped to. But, perhaps I will before I return to Oregon after the end of February.

The weather has been on and off snow and cold temps.

I have been trying to come with a plan of some kind. A next step. And I figure it is to enjoy and to love. And not to dwell on things that I can not control or change.

Loosen the grip. Less worry. Accept people as they are. Listen. Be kind. LOve

part of me

more than anywhere else i know, it is a place of united tradition and holding on to what has always been. change, bound to happen, is financial opportunity slow to arrive, and a transplanting of the outcast; strugglers coming into the land of old hands at struggling, and a return of the retired. 

trucks, full of the big city’s trash, come one after another to empty their load in the pits, made where coal company machinery ate farmland. scattered everywhere are tracks of coal mining lakes that the company didn’t bother to fill in.
mosquitoes thrive in the warm humid landscape of summer, bug spray a common purchase.

in this place are the few people of a simple faith. a set strength of humor and caring, is prevalent, keeping the odds at bay. prayer chains, and family is the string that holds the brown paper folded against the package. 
relation dots the countryside.

baseball is considered the national sport and the small schools do well to keep a competitive field. some of the best players have grown up in this place. this place of corn fields and lighting bugs.

it begs one to slow down and listen, restore an old car, have reunions, stop to have lunch with friends. a place of town-wide garage sales and friday fish fries. upcoming events hang by a push pin on corked boards. and some think that there is nothing going on.

three years

It is coming to the end of my time in Illinois. Three years ago, I came here in the throws of the breakup of a thirty year marriage. The marriage was breaking apart for many years. It's too bad
that I didn't know many of the things that I have learned in the last three years about myself and
about the interactions of certain relationship.

I now have a better understanding of what I could have done for myself and for the relationship.
I can now see much of my own part in the problems. And worked through some of that.
I don't know if Peter had to look back on his part. He was in a place to move nicely into his next relationship and a marriage.

Now, I am going back to Oregon. It is time to live in the house that has become mine.
And hope to see the people that I have grown fond of in Illinois. And I would like see, face to
face, some people that I have met online.

I would also like to travel to some places with friends.

I can't talk about love. Language can not describe it.
But, I sometimes see it, and feel it. Alive and living in the living of moments.
Sometimes I must decide to get past myself, and just open my heart.

Lighten the Load

The best way to start giving things away. Is a little at a time.

And if there is another person to help you, even better.

You can decide what is going where, and the other person can
label it, or put in in a bag that is labeled.

Having another person there can be a great support.

Yours, Mine and Ours, Post 2

I realize that when people are young, they are just starting to gather things. To collect and store and use.
But, then comes a time of realization. There are things that need to go.
And oh, how difficult it can be.

First of all, It's work.
Looking at each thing. Experiencing the memories.

However. Letting-go is part of life.

And we do it every day, without even realizing it.
There are things that we will never do again, or even think of again.

To make things easier. Think twice before keeping or buying things
at the old gift shop.  The rose from the prom, the Christmas cards from friends.
The thing, whatever it is, from the Great Aunt.
Don't you dare stick them in a drawer or closet.
Go through the mail before setting it down.

Did your husband keep his tux, uhhuh... get rid of the dress.
Well...maybe not.

But, It's gotta go sometime.

Every stinking thing that you bring into the house.
Will eventually leave the house.

Some people are into keeping stuff.

But for those that would like to sort it out,
I would like to share some tips...  to be continued.



Post #1

Yours Mine and Ours

Closets, garages, attics or basements are where we keep our useful and needed objects, right?

That's how it all begins. But, then we have a way of ignoring our the stuff in our usual surroundings.

Closets and even rooms become never never land.
Totes become full of ...stuff from another lifetime.
Elastic gets hard.
Fabric gets eaten by moths and musty.
Clothes no longer fit your body or lifestyle.
We shut the door on it all.

If things are not used-up, they will alternately disintegrate while not used.

That's what happens.

Who deals with it?  And how?

That's what I want to talk about.

The Usual

People often look at their usual surroundings and the brain no longer takes the time to really study their surroundings in a new way.
Piles of books, their clothes, the furniture, house, land, collections, and all the other things which they surround themselves, become the usual.

The way that we do things in our usual surroundings can becomes the usual way. The usual way begins to be what is, and this keeps us from seeing or doing in another way. We stop doing things outside our usual.

However if one makes a habit of going through things. A person then thinks about what is there, and makes room for some new growth. It keeps the mind a little more active and aware.

It's good to take stock of what we have and pass some things along to others, make into rags, find another use, or throw away.

It's good for people to go through all their things now and again. Get some help where needed.

For those that have had to clean out someone's house after they have died or are no longer able to take care of their belongings. You probably understand that what a person keeps and how it is kept can eventually become someone else's responsibility.

There are many good reasons for going through things and keeping them fresh and useable. People don't need to get overly weird about it. Just now and then take a look at the usual.

History

history counts it's skeletons
in round numbers
over time
bending bones
like sand scoured stone

not too much to ask for

i want 
a vote
to hire.

i want 
every person's vote,
from the east coast to
the hawaiian islands,
to count.

i want
to vote
for someone
who speaks 
softly
with intelligence,
compassion,
understanding,
strength, and
controlled
etiquette.

i want 
to choose
from everyone 
that has passed
a test to apply.

i don't want parties,
i want candidates
that meet the
requirements
of doing the job.

title . the signs . by n.m.davis

there are
the candidates
talking in the distance
singing
trying to be heard
one above the other
the train
coming closer
whistling
before
crossing the road, not stopping
never stopping
just making noise
a warning
to stay out of the way
mind the signs
and make
the right
choice

title "around the white"

red polka dot
wrinkled sheets

sunny days
strung-out

a necklace of
sweat beads

around the white
neck of a flying
angel

over the blue
chalked
sidewalk

cracks and all

i like

the sliver
of a silver moon

gooey
crust of pie

dancing to
a familiar tune

and looking
into your eyes

love is

love is in
warm breath

in
what we
can not see

the force
that drives
particles
into galaxies

and you
into her arms

take me,

dear love,

from this
lonely place

and hold me

in

your sweet

embrace.




december
11
2016

on track

the words are old

the words are old
feelings through the ages
we can make new words
we can make love
it will feel new